Sunday, December 30, 2007

The Lost Oprah Interview

Despite my humility, I have been asked to share about my media stardom.

Papa & I share work responsbilities at the country music radio station. Yee hah! With work leash on, I walk myself to Papa's truck and we begin our commute to work.

(Enter control room)

Dukie: Woof!

DJ: Dukie!!!

DISCLAIMER: Human-to-dog and dog-to-human captions, interpretations and translation provided by Papa.

Dukie: What do you have for me to do today?

DJ: Here's some e-mail requests . . .

Dukie: Just lay 'em here on my chin rest, thanks.

Dukie: Who are the 2 dogs chewing on my rawhide?

DJ: Introducing your very special guest: Oprah is here with camera crew and her dogs in tow!

Oprah: So, do you mind if we observe America's Radio Ranch dog in action?

Dukie: Please be my guest. Just keep your dogs away from my rawhide chewie, thanks. By the way, love your show, especially the episode with Caesar Millan.

Oprah: Why thank you, Dukie!

Dukie (on Request Line): Yes, uh-uh, got it, "Old dogs, children and watermelon wine by Tom T. Hall. We'll get that on right away. Thanks for callin' . . .

Oprah: How do you manage to juggle your ranch and radio chores?

Dukie: It's a matter of priorities, pacing oneself and enjoying what I do.

Oprah: Do you have any personal music favorites?

Dukie: I confess that while Papa's not looking I always schedule "Ol' Red" by Blake Shelton, and "Ticks" from Brad Paisley--tunes like that.

Oprah: The show really does go to the dogs then.

Dukie: Excuse me, Oprah, your dogs owe me a new rawhide . . . where's Caesar when you need him . . . ?